Do you ever feel trapped by negative thoughts?

 

How well acquainted are you with that negative voice in your head constantly giving you thoughts that are simply unworkable?

 

You know the voice that’s telling you that you’re not good enough, that you’re failing, or that your relationship is beyond repair?

If you do find yourself over-identifying with negative thoughts and believing they define who you are you will be pleased to know:

• How common this is, most of us have negative thoughts
• There are some steps to practice that are designed to shift this mindset

 

Your thoughts are not facts and you have the power to change the narrative. 

 

Negative thoughts can feel overwhelmingly real, even when they’re not based on facts?

These thoughts can:

• Take over our mind
• Create self-doubt
• Increase frustration
• Disconnect us from ourselves and relationships

 

Why does this happen? ( I’m glad you asked!)

 

The Power of the Mind

The brain is designed to process and interpret information to help you navigate the world, but this same mechanism can lead you to believe your thoughts—whether they are true or not.

Here’s why:

 

Cognitive Bias

Your brain relies on cognitive shortcuts, or biases, to make sense of the world quickly.

One such bias is confirmation bias, where you seek out evidence that supports your existing beliefs.

If you think, “I’m not good at relationships,” your brain will focus on past experiences that confirm this thought, making it feel true, even if it’s not the full picture.

 

Emotional Responses

Thoughts are often tied to emotions, and the stronger the emotion, the more real the thought feels.

For example, a thought like “I’m failing as a partner” might trigger feelings of shame or fear, which reinforce the belief.

The brain’s emotional centre, like the amygdala, amplify these feelings, making the thought seem undeniable.

 

The Brain’s Survival Instinct

The brain is wired to prioritise survival, which means it pays more attention to negative or threatening thoughts.

This is known as the negativity bias.

While this was helpful for avoiding danger in the past, it can cause us to fixate on negative thoughts in modern life, even when they’re not helpful or accurate.

 

Repetition Strengthens Belief

The more we think a thought, the stronger the neural pathways associated with it become.

This is called neuroplasticity.

Over time, repeated thoughts—whether positive or negative—become ingrained, making them feel like undeniable truths.

 

Lack of Awareness

Many people are unaware that thoughts are not facts.

The brain generates thousands of thoughts daily, but not all of them are accurate or helpful.

Without awareness, it’s easy to accept thoughts at face value, especially if they align with deeply held beliefs or fears.

 

Why do Men Struggle with Negative Thoughts

If you are the kind of bloke that internalises your emotions, believing you need to “tough it out” or “push through” you might get stuck because:

Bottling up feelings can create overthinking, which can amplify negative thoughts. 

It’s a tough cycle to be lost in. 

Without an outlet to process these emotions, you are at risk of feeling stuck, grumpy, or disconnected. 

 

Breaking the Cycle

 

It is possible to challenge and change these thoughts.

Here’s how:

 

Pause and Reflect

When a negative thought arises, take a moment to ask yourself, “Is this thought based on fact or fear?”

Challenge the Thought

Look for evidence that contradicts the negative belief.

For instance, if you think, “I always mess things up,” recall times when you succeeded or handled challenges well.

 

Reframe the Narrative

Replace the negative thought with a more balanced perspective.

Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try “I’m learning and growing every day.”

Practice Self-Compassion

Remind yourself that everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. Being kind to yourself can help you move forward instead of staying stuck.

Talk It Out

Sharing your thoughts with a trusted friend, partner, or counsellor can help you gain perspective and feel less alone.

 

Moving Forward

By becoming more aware of your emotions and challenging limiting beliefs, you can break free from the cycle of negativity.

This not only improves your mental well-being but also strengthens your relationships and helps you show up as the confident, open, and connected man you want to be.