A Fixed Mindset or Rigid Thinking can sabotage your emotional wellbeing and relationships.
These patterns come from deeply ingrained beliefs or past experiences.
They can limit your ability to adapt, connect, and grow.
For example many men are conditioned to “stay strong” or “push through,” whenever life gets hard.
Rigid thinking can feel like a badge of honour.
However these patterns can lead to:
- Disconnection
- Frustration
- Emotional isolation
What Are Rigid Thinking Patterns?
Rigid thinking refers to inflexible thought processes that make it difficult to:
- Adapt to new situations
- Gain new perspectives
- Understand the value of emotions
It often manifests as “black-and-white” thinking or a “fixed mindset” where things are seen as either:
- Right or wrong
- Good or bad
- No room for nuance or flexibility
Common rigid thoughts many blokes have about themselves:
- “I should be tough and push through.”
- “I’m not allowed to feel or express emotions.”
- “I have to fix everything.”
- “If I ask for help, I’m failing.”
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I should always have the answers.”
- “If my partner doesn’t agree with me, they don’t respect me.”
Common rigid thinking some men have about relationships:
- “If I avoid conflict, it will go away.”
- “My partner should just know how I feel.”
- “Talking about feelings won’t help.”
- “If I show vulnerability, I’ll lose respect.”
- “I’m the problem in the relationship.”
- “I can’t change; this is just who I am.”
- “If I’m not providing or protecting, I’m failing as a partner.”
Do you recognise any of these?
While these thoughts may provide a sense of control or certainty, they can also create barriers to emotional intimacy, effective communication and personal growth.
Rigid thinking, emotional wellbeing and relationships
Rigid thinking can have far-reaching consequences, including:
Emotional Disconnection
When you’re stuck in rigid thought patterns, it can be hard to connect with your own emotions or those of your partner.
This can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of emotional intimacy.
Increased Conflict
Inflexible thinking often results in an inability to compromise or see things from another person’s perspective, escalating conflicts in your relationships.
Self-Criticism
Rigid thinking can fuel negative self-talk, such as believing you’re not good enough or that you must always be perfect.
Stagnation
It limits your ability to grow and adapt, both personally and within your relationships.
Practical Steps to Change Rigid Thinking Patterns
With awareness and effort, you can develop more flexible and adaptive thought patterns.
Here’s how:
1. Identify Your Thoughts
Notice when you’re engaging in black-and-white thinking. Ask yourself,
“Am I seeing this situation in extremes? Is there a middle ground?”
Journaling can help you track these patterns and identify triggers.
2. Challenge Your Beliefs
Once you’ve identified a rigid thought, question its validity.
For example:
If you think, “I must always have the answers,” ask yourself, “Is this really true? What would happen if I didn’t have all the answers?”
This process may help you reframe your thoughts and open up to new perspectives.
3. Practice Emotional Awareness
Tune into your emotions and allow yourself to feel them without judgment.
This can help you understand the underlying fears or insecurities driving your rigid thinking.
Techniques like mindfulness or deep breathing can help you stay present and grounded.
4. Communicate
Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner or a trusted friend.
Open communication can help you gain new insights and break down the walls of rigid thinking.
5. Embrace Flexibility
Practice seeing situations from multiple angles.
For example:
If you’re in a disagreement with your partner, try to understand their perspective without immediately defending your own.
Flexibility fosters empathy and connection.
6. Seek Support
If rigid thinking is deeply ingrained, consider seeking professional support.
Counselling or therapy can provide tools and strategies to help you shift your mindset and improve your relationships.
Breaking free from rigid thinking patterns is not about losing control—it’s about gaining freedom.
By cultivating flexibility and openness, you can enhance your emotional well-being, deepen your relationships, and live a more fulfilling life.
Remember, change takes time and effort, but the rewards are well worth it.
