Did you grow up being told it’s okay to feel all your feelings?
Probably not!
I imagine like many men you may have picked up the message:
“Be strong. Don’t show weakness. Move on.”
Or something similar where your feelings are well hidden and internalised.
You’re not alone.
Sitting with your feelings rather than running from them can be a real strength for your mental health, your relationships and your overall sense of wellbeing.
I’m not talking about you becoming overly emotional or even a complete emotional mess!
I can hear you questioning!
“Why would I want to sit with uncomfortable feelings?”
A reasonable question!
Here’s why it may be worth your time:
You don’t always need to wear that mask of toughness!
You are allowed to take your mask off .
There’s a myth out there that men should always remain stoic and unemotional.
You’re not made of stone.
When life gets tough having the guts to face what’s going on inside of you means occasionally allowing yourself to feel it and process it.
Showing resilience and emotional intelligence involves acknowledging anger, sadness, frustration or even joy.
This kind of strength can help you handle life’s challenges without shutting down or lashing out.
You can deepen your relationship.
Have you ever noticed how avoiding tough conversations or bottling up your feelings can leave you feeling distant from your partner, your mates, or even your kids?
When you sit with your feelings and learn to express them, you open the door to real connection.
People can’t connect with a wall!
Being open about what you’re feeling (even if you don’t have all the answers) helps build trust and intimacy.
Acknowledging your own feelings as well as others shows the people around you that you’re present, engaged and willing to show up even when things get messy.
Stop the Cycle of Avoidance and Disconnection
Many men naturally fall into the trap of avoiding conflicting or uncomfortable emotions in their relationship. Often by changing the subject, walking away or just going silent when things get heated.
While this might seem like the easier option in the moment, it often leads to bigger problems down the track such as:
- Unresolved issues
- Growing tension
- A sense of disconnection
Sitting with your feelings is an opportunity to process what’s really going on, so you can respond (not just react) and break the cycle of avoidance.
Keep these 3 things in mind
1. Presence is the First Step
You don’t have to have all the answers or fix everything.
Start by simply noticing what you’re feeling.
Take a few minutes each day to check in with yourself—no judgment, no pressure.
Just notice. Are you feeling tense? Frustrated? Numb? Naming your feelings is the first step to understanding them.
2. It’s Okay to Be Uncomfortable
Sitting with feelings can be awkward, especially if you’re not used to it.
You might feel restless, annoyed, or even a bit silly. That’s normal.
The goal isn’t to make the feelings go away, but to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Over time, you’ll find that the feelings become less overwhelming, and you’ll be better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.
3. You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
If you’re struggling to sit with your feelings, reach out.
Talk to a mate, a partner, or a professional.
Sometimes just saying out loud what you’re feeling can take the sting out of it.
Remember, asking for support is a sign that you’re willing to do the work to improve your life and relationships.
I’m not encouraging you to wallow or get stuck in negativity.
Give yourself the space to process what’s really going on, so you can move forward with clarity and confidence.
Sitting with feelings is a skill. It takes practice.
If you’re ready to take the next step, start small.
Notice what you’re feeling, give yourself permission to sit with it, and remember you’re not alone on this journey.
Real strength comes from facing what’s inside, not running from it.
If, as you read this and recognise you need more support, book in a consultation with me or find a professional in your area.
