Let’s talk about men’s feelings!
Oh no! Not some mushy blog about feelings!
I can almost hear the collective groan of men who would prefer to steer away and go back to their screen!
Stay with me! Don’t go! Hear me out!
It’s difficult, sometimes awkward, I know!
You may be surprised to hear that most blokes get comfortable very quickly when invited to describe their feelings. They even surprise themselves!
The conversation about feelings helps to make sense of a man’s mental health and relationship health.
However, it’s not as ‘warm and fuzzy’ as it may seem!
How would you or a man in your life respond to this question?
How do you feel about your feelings?
It is an odd question!
Often men, and women, struggle to makes sense of this question! It appears difficult to answer let alone how it’s relevant!
I ask it because the answers create a shape of a person’s view of their emotional life.
This, in turn, will determine the degree of emotional acceptance so important in good mental and emotional wellbeing.
Men in particular have some complicated reactions to their feelings.
Particularly the negative ones.
The consequence of these reactions is that men push down or push away their emotional life.
It can be so confusing to find language for feelings, that guys give up and distract themselves.
Some men get really stuck in negative patterns and close off.
Too many men escape, avoid or deny feelings.
As a result, certain kinds of destructive behaviour combined with high levels of stress, anxiety and depression can overwhelm them.
The most revealing and exciting parts of inviting men to engage in questions about feelings is their relief at being able to talk without fear of judgement.
When a man’s reaction to his feelings are shared in confidence his heart opens and wellbeing begins to improve.
He feels:
- Understood
- Lighter
- Calmer
- Relaxed
- Less burdened
- Relief
- Heard
- Accepted
- Ready to learn new skills to take care of himself.
