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Howard Todd-Collins

Grad.Dip.Couns.HS, M.Couns.HS, Counsellor/Psychotherapist, Consultant MACA Howard is the director and owner of Men and Relationships Counselling. He passionately believes that given the right space and environment, men open up and talk about their lives in a way that empowers them to take steps to change. He has a strong connection to the growth of men, with over 15 years experience in designing individual and group programs for men and fathers as well as facilitating human relations groups. Go to > http://menandrelationships.com.au/about-us/consultants/ and Learn About Our Consultants – What We Do And Why

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Men’s Emotions – Are you open or closed?

Men’s emotions are essential in intimate relationships.

Yet, it seems to be one of their greatest challenges.

Would you agree?

I often hear the murmur of protests from many men who habitually take the emotion out of their communication with their partners.

Men in relationships often describe:
  • They’re too busy to make the time to talk
  • Are overloaded and overwhelmed with parenting
  • Work commitments and professional lives get in the way
  • They are too tired to talk
  • They are unsure about how to talk about emotions
Many of these problems mean their relationships lose sight of care, affection and intimacy.

When men’s emotions are closed

Many blokes in general have grown up with a dismissive if not critical view of emotional expression.

If a man grows up with critical or judgemental messages about his emotions he learns to close them down. He is likely to have internalised emotions in the following ways:

  • All feelings of worry are wrong and bad
  • It’s not helpful to talk about emotions
  • My emotions are unimportant
  • Feelings are not to be trusted
  • Feelings are silly
  • People don’t care about my feelings
  • There is no point in talking about feelings

The effect on a man’s life can be disastrous.

Probably the most powerful change men can make is to learn to accept their emotional life.

How to be emotionally open

A significant shift occurs in committed relationships when emotions are accepted as a normal, if not vital part of communication.

Acceptance means the following:

  • All feelings are ok and important
  • Talking with someone about emotions is a priority
  • Empathy and validation are essential for intimacy
  • Having language to make sense of emotions is valuable
  • Emotions are normal

Men who embrace emotional acceptance improve their relationship.

The core of your relationship with your partner is how available, present and engaged you are in emotional expression.
This is what creates the bond in couples.

Do you want to know more about emotional acceptance?

Give us a call!

Howard Todd-Collins

Grad.Dip.Couns.HS, M.Couns.HS, Counsellor/Psychotherapist, Consultant MACA Howard is the director and owner of Men and Relationships Counselling. He passionately believes that given the right space and environment, men open up and talk about their lives in a way that empowers them to take steps to change. He has a strong connection to the growth of men, with over 15 years experience in designing individual and group programs for men and fathers as well as facilitating human relations groups. Go to > http://menandrelationships.com.au/about-us/consultants/ and Learn About Our Consultants – What We Do And Why

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Written by: Howard Todd-Collins

Howard Todd-Collins

Grad.Dip.Couns.HS, M.Couns.HS, Counsellor/Psychotherapist, Consultant MACA Howard is the director and owner of Men and Relationships Counselling. He passionately believes that given the right space and environment, men open up and talk about their lives in a way that empowers them to take steps to change. He has a strong connection to the growth of men, with over 15 years experience in designing individual and group programs for men and fathers as well as facilitating human relations groups. Go to > http://menandrelationships.com.au/about-us/consultants/ and Learn About Our Consultants – What We Do And Why

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